Umbrella wielders must die

It is difficult to imagine the thought patterns of the selfish bastards I had to endure yesterday at the Chinese New Year celebrations in London. These people were easy to spot as they were the ones using umbrellas no matter what was going on around them.

  1. It’s a narrow road in Chinatown and there is wall-to-wall pedestrian traffic trying to move in both directions. Why are these people – especially the ones of short stature – still trying to use umbrellas? It’s near-impossible for others to dodge the metal spikes that make up the structure of the device. They’re just being a menace.


  2. There’s a display going on in the street so you have to look over peoples shoulders or heads to see what’s going on. Some unthinking and uncaring folk will stand at the front with their umbrella up, completely blocking the view for anyone else.


If you are the sort of person that would do this then maybe realisation will dawn that the abuse you may hear from time to time is, in fact, directed at yourself and not some other idiot. And I hate you.

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