Jelly Writers (April 2018)

Jelly Writers
2nd Tuesday of month, 6.30pm to 7.30pm
Jelly Studios, Broad St Mall
A group for adults who want to improve their creative writing. Join us for discussions of writing techniques, writing exercises and critiquing each other’s work. Please bring something to write with and something to write on.
Register here:

First exercise

Spend two minutes writing a list of the things you’ve been doing in the last 24 hours. When you’re done, pick the most mundane task and spend fifteen minutes writing about someone that has to perform that task all day.

The Woman That Addresses Envelopes

The envelope stock is getting low, she noted to herself. Sheila’s been getting a little lax recently.

The cheque run was swishing away into a box nearby. Every now and then, she bent down and lifted up a handful before turning round to her desk and the box of windowed white envelopes. One by one, each envelope was filled and sealed down. Eventually a pile formed large enough to warrant dumping into the mail sack on her left. And then back to the box for more cheques. A good hour seemed to drag past before the print run was on its way to the post room and she could have a cup of tea and a biscuit (or two).

Invoices came along to quickly, this time to go in C5 brown envelopes. Thankfully the folding machine was still struggling on and neatly creased half-sized sheets came out ready for sealing away. Time crawled by again, and then all was done.

Another tea break and another batch to shuffle from printer to mail trolley in a different set of windowed envelopes. She glanced up at the clock and saw lunch was still way off so decided to go to the loo. And talk to Sheila about stock. And maybe see how Geraldine was getting on in Accounts. It should be lunchtime by then. Sandwiches, an apple, and some grapes before an afternoon folding and stapling the event booklets for the waiting pile of C4 envelopes, all to be addressed with a vast roll of printed labels.

She looked out of the window for a few seconds before getting up.

Second exercise

Spend two minutes writing down what you bought when last at the supermarket. When the time’s up, ask the person on your left to randomly choose an item off the list. Spend fifteen minutes writing about someone buying a thousand of those items.

The day someone bought two thousand sausage rolls

“You’ve come to click-and-collect what, madam?”

“2,000 sausage rolls.”

A moment’s pause before “Of course, madam. And do you have the order number handy?”

The woman replied in the affirmative and proffered her phone with a bar code prominently on the screen.

“Thankyou,” said the person at the customer serviced desk. A moment later, she returned the phone and walked towards a nearby door marked ‘staff only’. The customer quietly sang a little song to herself as she waited. A few minutes later and a young storeman wheeled a shopping  trolley through the door. Just one item was visible, a large cardboard box about a foot tall by two foot wide and four long with an order label on the side.

“Here you are, madam,” said the man. “2,000 sausage rolls. They’ve been in the cool room waiting for you. Will you need a hand getting them into your car?”

“No, thankyou,” she replied. “I don’t have a car.”

“Ah, okay…” he said, his voice trailing away in confusion. He glanced sideways at his colleague who had returned to the service desk. She shrugged back at him and smiled warmly at the customer who had made no effort yet to take either the box or trolley.

“I’ve also come to click-and-collect another order.”

“Certainly, madam. And that would be…?”

“2,000 Scotch eggs.”

“Would there be many more orders?”

“Oh, yes.”

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